I planned year 2008 to be my best year ever. The world agreed but it has other ideas. It was not great. It was nowhere near good even. 2008 was a year of nightmare for me.
I had started the year with a new career. I left the awful job who takes 12 hrs of my day for a super busy day. I found myself in fast-paced industry of call center industry. The job is easy but the schedule sucks. But I was optimistic. And I believe I was happy. But somebody is not. And he hid it from me. That's where nightmare started.
After a month on the new job, I noticed a lot of changes in my marital relationship. I understand my husband coming home late 'cause its the job. What bothered me was he was always out of focus. He's always texting. Funny, he don't text me much. The worst was he was not there for me on our first wedding anniversary. The reason, he was with co-workers on their boss's mother's funeral. WTF! A dead stranger is more important than me? Something is wrong. I am troubled. I am not number one anymore in his list. I got to do something.
I quit the fast-paced call center job and went back to the awful job. Husband was happy. He said he did miss times we spend together. So I bring back the old times. But still something is wrong. I can feel it. I wanna threw away the cellphone and break it into pieces. Then I read something I'm not supposed to read. I had discovered a pieces of a puzzle. Curious as I always have, I solved the puzzle. Bingo!
I had started the year with a new career. I left the awful job who takes 12 hrs of my day for a super busy day. I found myself in fast-paced industry of call center industry. The job is easy but the schedule sucks. But I was optimistic. And I believe I was happy. But somebody is not. And he hid it from me. That's where nightmare started.
After a month on the new job, I noticed a lot of changes in my marital relationship. I understand my husband coming home late 'cause its the job. What bothered me was he was always out of focus. He's always texting. Funny, he don't text me much. The worst was he was not there for me on our first wedding anniversary. The reason, he was with co-workers on their boss's mother's funeral. WTF! A dead stranger is more important than me? Something is wrong. I am troubled. I am not number one anymore in his list. I got to do something.
I quit the fast-paced call center job and went back to the awful job. Husband was happy. He said he did miss times we spend together. So I bring back the old times. But still something is wrong. I can feel it. I wanna threw away the cellphone and break it into pieces. Then I read something I'm not supposed to read. I had discovered a pieces of a puzzle. Curious as I always have, I solved the puzzle. Bingo!
I died.
I fought back.
I died again.
I fought back and resurrected as an on-line game addict.
I got depressed. I don't wanna leave house.
Playing the game was all I wanna do.
I was numb. I was dumb.
I ate some of that depression. Stress at work joined-in at beating me up. I ate away the stress too.
As they say, time heals. And I believe I am healed. Not 100% but it got better. I am grateful.
I'm pretty much in love. I could say I'm happy now again. Except that I have to endure the fruit of the destructive habit I did during my zombie phase. The excess baggage.
I was browsing Oprah the other day. It looks like I was not alone on my struggle last year. I'm glad for her she started the year with a bang. I just started on this 2nd quarter. I was still out of focus when the year started.
I was browsing Oprah the other day. It looks like I was not alone on my struggle last year. I'm glad for her she started the year with a bang. I just started on this 2nd quarter. I was still out of focus when the year started.
One thing I know today. I have to get back in the wagon. As of the moment, the wagon is still running faster than me. But I wont give up. I shall run faster and get back on it soon.
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